Moholt is too damn loud now

Life has become unbearable with the added noise of the student cellars.

Tekst: Cathrine Sæther, Journalist i Under Dusken

Living the Moholt life means you do not get one moment of peace. Every minute of every day the noise is endless. I’ve been asked if Moholt, especially after the reopening of the student cellars, or «Kjellerne» in Norwegian, is loud and difficult to live in. The answer is yes. Yes, it is.

You wake up to annoying chirping birds that have clearly never had any sort of musical education. The ringing and vibration of an alarm in the room above. The persistent Trondheim weather beating against the windows. Wind or rain or snow or hail, often in combination.

There is road- and construction work providing a constant hum of drills and excavators. You’re living at Moholt.

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As you have your breakfast, the beating of trainers against pavement, splashing in puddles and mud, resonate from all around you. People like to be fit at Moholt, and they’ll not let you forget it. In all the neon colours of the rainbow they run about the place.

The outdoor exercise park is always being used by at least one person. I have yet to see it completely abandoned, never mind the time of day (or night). Grunting as they do their pull-ups with their mates cheering them on, the neon people make sure I never get a quiet moment.

I like to stare angrily at them from my window, trying to banish them by sheer force of will. However, they must misinterpret my gaze because they keep coming back, often without a shirt. And why do they insist on wearing tights under shorts? Why not one or the other?

And there goes another guy in his army hoodie. Yes, we know, you did your compulsory military service and you need to show us. But could you perhaps at least refrain from stomping about in your army boots, joining the chorus of trainers and the click-clack of heels. Why can’t everyone just do it the natural, quiet way? You know, barefoot.

As the working day comes to an end, the place is packed with kids. These minuscule people throw themselves from monkey bars and chase pokémons. With nauseatingly bright faces, rosy cheeks and huge grins everywhere, they crawl about the place like ants.

I thought that the neon-clad people were the worst, but looking at these tiny beings I am unsure. A group of them are dabbing. And look, another is doing the floss dance! Need I say more?

Kids aren’t the only ones treating the place like a playground. A nearby climbing wall is popular among students, both the neon type and the regular. Perhaps they hope that once they reach the top they might glimpse their hopeless future beyond the crushing reality of their loud, student life?

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Because trust me, no matter what they are doing, students are always loud. Above me I hear someone hammering. Knowing students, it must be an Ikea table, most likely the one named Lack. Through the walls I hear them laughing, talking, drinking, gaming, watching Netflix, cooking, singing, having sex, doing laundry, yoga, dropping a needle, you name it.

Listen now. The student cellars must have opened. I can hear the music playing loudly outside. These damn cellars, attracting drunks, disturbing my peace.

Wait, it’s actually some neon idiot who brought a loudspeaker for his late night session, not music from the student cellars.

Oh, well, the point stands. It’s noisy. Every sound imaginable can be heard here. If you’d like to experience the true environment of students, with their ceaseless mating calls, primitive displays of physical aptitude and energetic social interactions, look no further than Moholt Zoo.